Daren's Bachelor Party

I'm in Columbus for Daren's Bachelor Party which will take place in two parts. One part is tonight a small gathering at one of Columbus' Gentlemen's Establishments (after Mongolian Barbeque) of course. Then tomorrow in Cleveland we'll all be WITNESSes to drunken debauchery on Daren's friend's boat docked on an area in Cleveland known as "The Flats".

Keep checking here for details on what is sure to be an interesting weekend.

KeriAnn Falls Short

KeriAnn did not make the Celtics Dance Team, as the team was announced last night (I thought it was being announced Friday, hence the text message confusion for those that wrote).

Spoke with KeriAnn this morning and she is doing much better than you'd think. She had A LOT of fun just trying out and believe it or not this was a leap from what she's been doing most of her life (there are no baton twirling routines to "Pop, Lock, and Drop It!"). So to not make the team isn't as much of a disappointment for her as it would've been exciting if she did.

Thank you to everyone who voted for her in the Celtics.com poll

Congratulations Baylor!

That game you lost in Double Overtime to Oklahoma in 2005...you actually won it! What an upset!

The NCAA retroactively forfeited all of Oklahoma's 2005 wins because of improper payments made to Quarterback Rhett Bomar and Lineman J.D. Quinn at what can be best described as a "No Show" job at a car dealership.

The Sooners also forfeit their Holiday Bowl win over Oregon but do not have to return the monies awarded to the University.

In addition, Oklahoma will lose 2 scholarships in 2008-09 and 2009-10.

As a result of the forfeits, Bob Stoops coaching record goes from 86-19 to 78-19. Shouldn't it be 78-27? Either way, he is not on the "hot seat".

Oklahoma's probation with the NCAA is also extended until 2010.

Oklahoma avoided a more harsh punishment by dismissing Bomar and Quinn last summer and banning athletes from working at the same dealership until 2008-09. This is becoming a popular trend in college athletics scandals, self-imposing light punishments to avoid harsher ones.

Retroactive forfeits are punchlines for blog posts and seem kind of a silly punishment. If UMass didn't go to the Final Four in '96, or Michigan in '93 or Ohio State in '99, then who did? What lessons are learned when a win a team knows it earned on the field is taken away for an incident off of it?

For some reason, this punishment is getting more publicity than the three retroactive forfeits I mentioned. Can't explain why. Maybe because the news came out on "No Game Wednesday".

In a related story, Syracuse petitioned the NCAA to get the results of its 2005 season rescinded unsuccessfully.

My Interview with Barry Bonds and other Random ASG Thoughts

After seeing Barry Bonds Interview with Manny Mota (don't write me and tell me that wasn't Manny Mota, I know). I now know how an interview with him would go if I were conducting it:

Pizza Parlor Derek: Barry, what substances are you willing to admit to using that may have helped you to achieve the milestone you are about to achieve?

Barry Bonds: I tell you what, it is a beautiful day for baseball.

PPD: Yes, it is. Would the night you break Hank Aaron's record be diminished if Commissioner Bud Selig wasn't in attendance and do you think he should be?

BB: I'm just blessed to live in America. Such a great country.

PPD: Are you upset that Hank Aaron himself will not be in attendance?

BB: You know who I'm warming upto, this Ron Paul. I listened to him during one of the debates and I think he has some good ideas. I'm curious to see if McCain stays in the race through Iowa though.

PPD: Barry, it's been great chatting with you, good luck in the second half.

BB: Thank you.

(of course I'm omitting the stare on Bonds' face that probably would say "You read about that wrestler and his family? Well it can happen to a baseball player and YOUR family")

Other Random Thoughts

-I was praying A-Rod was running like he was (like a stick was up his ass) because he just pulled his hamstring.

-I inched up in my seat when Chris Young walked Brian Roberts only for the possibility that Derrek Lee was going to whiz a return throw at Young's head after a pickoff attempt.

-Tim McCarver has no idea what Wi-Fi is or who Turtle from Entourage is. Joe Buck misses Troy Aikman and can't wait to hang with him and feel cool.

-I make fun of Tim McCarver a lot, but at least once a game he'll tell you something you wouldn't have figured out for yourself watching the game alone. He is a hundred times better than Joe Morgan and 1/100th as good as Jerry Remy or Ron Darling or Keith Hernandez

-So there's heavy air in San Francisco and thin air in Denver. How heavy is New England air?

-Papelbon's the balls.

-I like when I ask myself things like "When did J.J. Putz become unhittable?" then see him get hit around. Makes me feel smart even though I ignore West Coast baseball.

-Imagine if Joe Buck and anybody else did last year's Fiesta Bowl instead of the clowns who did.

-I really do think Tony LaRussa forgot about Albert Pujols

All-Star Games

I disagree somewhat with Paul on baseball's All-Star Game. Before that let me run down my opinions on each sports All-Star Game.

NFL Pro Bowl- By far the worst, half the named roster players sit out to the point that Trent Green and Steve McNair become "Pro Bowl Quarterbacks", there's no blitzing so the linebackers named to the game don't even get to show why they were named to the game in the first place. This absolutely should be replaced by a televised lavish banquet (like tonight's ESPY's) and the right to wear a gold patch on the shoulder of the best player (in the NFL) at each position.

NHL All-Star Game- So what if Alexander Ocherjlahjhsak from Tampa Bay had a Hat Trick. So did Oleg Jkrjewersac from Anaheim and Bret Hykcwzkcwzkckz from Edmonton. In fact the score was Who's He 12, Huh? 8.

NBA All-Star Game- An overly produced pickup game. Which takes place on what I call "Affirmative Action Day" after the Daytona 500. After Fox tries to find every black guy in Daytona, TNT shows pregame performances by Maroon 5, Foo Fighters, and Sugarland as both sports try to avoid being pigeonholed demographically.

MLB All-Star Game- I can see how Mets fans must hate the "This Time it Counts" clause, but even they have to admit this added to the excitement of last night's Bottom of the Ninth Inning. Of all the All-Star Games I've watched, last night felt the most like a regular season game. All the AL's runs were scored off pitchers on teams in Pennant contention as of the All-Star Break.

I know I'm in the minority in this but I like that every team must be represented in the game for a few reasons.

1) Feel good stories like Dmitri Young get to be told

2) Those that are still loyal Royals fans deserve the possibility of seeing a player on their team play in the All-Star Game even if it is Gil Meche. If a year came where three or four teams didn't have a player on the All-Star Game the game runs the risk of getting 5th place ratings in those markets and Fox would not get their moneys worth.

3) It also prevents a situation where three pitchers on one team need to be used in the game, rendering them useless the first three games of the second half.

I too have no idea why Tony LaRussa didn't pitch hit Albert Pujols for Aaron Rowand with the bases loaded. I think he may have forgotten Pujols was there and on his team that night. This might have been Tony LaRussa's first sign of age.

Lynch in '07

Thank you to all who have voted for KeriAnn on Celtics.com's Vote for your Favorite Finalist contest.

KeriAnn has come back valiantly from her 1% early showing (polling research shows KeriAnn does not do well among people home at their computers on July 4 before they find out about the poll itself) to pull into 2nd place with 29% just six percentage points behind the leader.

A reminder you can vote once a day and can try deleting your cookies and voting for her multiple times if you want to (I've tried this but have never been able to single handedly move her percentage up). As this poll gets later and later its gets more difficult to increase her percentage.

Thank you again for all who have voted!

So Sad

Paul, myself and just about anyone who has ever seen it agree that the 1993 movie "My Life" is the saddest movie ever made. The trailer should tell you what its all about...



While tens of thousands of sad songs have been written, most are about personal heartbreak and lost love which while sad, is something most can just as easily distance themselves from than relate to. Music, to me hasn't had an equivalent to "My Life".

On the plane to DC, I heard this song "If You're Reading This" by Tim McGraw (known to some as the guy who played the drunk dad in the movie version of "Friday Night Lights"), I welled up and came close to breaking down; and I was flying JetBlue which usually makes me happy.

Well turns out the song is a performance from the American Country Music Awards and the video is even sadder. I consider this video NSFW as being seen crying in the office isn't safe for anyone's career.



Can anyone name either a) a sadder movie than "My Life" or b) a sadder song than this one?

Back from Vacation

I am back from my vacation spent mostly in the Washington, DC/Northern Virginia. If you're curious, I didn't do a running blog as I did just about the same trip last year. Differences between that trip and this trip: Biggest difference is last year, Josh and his wife Erin were pregnant, this year they have a beautiful 8 month old girl named Isabelle. Isabelle LOVES attention from family and strangers alike. We got along very well, obviously.

Their dog Kevin is adjusting to sharing the home with his new sister.

Most days were spent at the Woodway gym and pool while Josh worked and Erin took Isabelle to play with other babies while she gossiped with other mommies. Of course we ate at chain restaurants here is a rundown with quick summaries:

Rock Bottom- Your basic American bistro/pub, Josh and I went to what was supposed to be an SU Alumni Happy Hour but the Happy Hour seemed to be four dudes at a table with an SU flag so we stayed up front and flirted with our bartender and a waitress drinking on her day off. Of course we held both girls attention until they were swamped by horny employees who figured they could get some after work. This was the night of the NBA draft yet the employees were more interested in Copa America soccer, distressed that we wanted to watch the draft. Virginia hearts soccer apparently as every bar we went to after had Copa America on.

Glory Days- Usual Chili and Cheesesteak fun, but I'm a little saddened to hear this is chain. I thought Glory Days was special to Centreville.

Chipotle- Anyone who knows Josh and I need not be told we went here twice.

Melting Pot- A hoighty-toighty fondue restaurant which seems geared towards young adults on a third date as meals were priced to the couple and romantic music played throughout. After a bread and cheese course, salad, meat platter, and chocolate dip, I spent twenty minutes in the Men's room. Can't imagine that would contribute to a successful date.

Coastal Flats- Not to be confused with Rascal Flatts. This is Virginia's hot girl restaurant of choice as even with my brother's future in-laws present, my head was on a swivel. Delicious crab crake definitely for the yuppie crowd. On the TV at the bar, yep Copa America soccer.

Bertucci's- A convenient way for me to thank the Hughes' for their hospitality. We went to the one in Herndon. Our service was less than spectacular but I'm never comfortable using my corporate status to get a young girl in trouble as just three years ago, I had the same job as the young girl. So our beers sat a little bit. I'm forgiving. What I'm not forgiving of, Copa America soccer on every damn TV in one state.

I spent the middle of the trip getting acquainted with my brother's future in-law's the Jagodnik's. I would have nothing but nice things to say even if they weren't already fronting thousands of dollars so I can drink my ass off on a Saturday in September but thanks to them I was able to enjoy Washington's Fireworks on the Mall from Ft. Myer which we were only able to go to because of Daren's future Father-In-Law's status as a retired Lieutentant-Colonel in the Air Force. An awesome view and a reminder of who I have to thank to live in such a great country.

Couple anecdotes from the week:

For a religious, moral man, Josh LOVES stealing. He makes it a point to steal something from every trip he goes on. At Billy's Bachelor Party he stole a tee-marker and had us sign it as a souvenir for Billy. So we go to the Shade Tree bar (not a chain I hope) where its Country Karaoke Night (like old Willie Nelson karaoke, not the new brand that's growing on me presently). Two beer bottles are on the bar. The bartender takes our order but doesn't take any cash from us or a credit card to start a tab. So Josh decides itd be fun, to down our beers, take the two on the bar and leave without paying. Yep we stole beer. We pull this off running through the parking lot giggling.

During the July 4th Independence Day parade, a nice young father of two lets my mother up to the front with her wheelchair so she can see my sister twirl. When I asked where he was from he said "all over" as he was in the military and had moved his family (including two sons) from base to base. He left his children be until the Teletubbies went by on the parade at which point he covered his children's eyes and told me when he caught them watching when they were younger, he'd grab the remote and change the channel. Red State Folk: The nicest people you'll ever meet as long as you don't remind them of anyone gay.