Dan Greco Wedding Blog Day 4: A Brush with Fame, A Celebration of Love, and the Beach Race Challenge

Dan and Kristin’s wedding day started with a call from Josh claiming a brush with fame. “Randy from My Name is Earl is in the lobby here in the hotel…its gotta be him”. Now Dean Karnazes might be mistakable but Ethan Suplee doesn’t have that many lookalikes. However I don’t watch enough “My Name is Earl” to make a 100% confirmation. The fact that he wore sunglasses the whole time and spent his entire time by the pool holding his daughter’s hand lays credence to the fact that indeed a C List Celebrity was staying with us at the Sand Pearl. Josh had the idea of inviting him to Dan’s wedding but needless to say he never got that close.

I figure you’ve had enough gripping stories of laying out by the pool and swimming and that’s just about the afternoon so let’s move ahead to before the wedding. Scott meets me at the hotel as we try to figure out putting on tuxes. You’d think we’ve been in enough weddings to have this figured out by now but neck ties, vests and those buttons that go inside the buttons always give me trouble.

We headed up to Dan’s waiting room and as soon as the elevator opens we see, maybe the hottest girl in the entire hotel. We walk past her and not a second after I make a side comment to Scott about her hotness, she chased us down. “Hey Guys, I’m the videographer, are you with the Greco wedding?, make sure he knows I want to get video of you guys putting on your boutonnieres”. Of course I make sure she’s well behind us before I say to Scott “she can get video of me putting on a condom if she wants”. She probably didn’t.




The ceremony was gorgeous, on the beach close to sunset. The only thing that could’ve ruined it was Jason Segel coming out saying “Beach Wedding in Florida…how original!”. What was a nice touch is that the pastor giving the ceremony was mic’ed up so you could hear everything he said throughout the beach and pool area, giving Kristin and Dan some extra spectators for their vows. Dan cried, they kissed, they poured Unity Sand into a glass (replacing the unity candle which would’ve blown out by the beach, and would have been a troubling omen).



Pictures after the ceremony seemed to take forever so we were cooped up in Dan and Kristin’s bridal suite which was insane (two floors, full kitchen, HDTV, and oh yeah an intercom system) , we were so hungry we were eating leftover food from the Bridesmaid’s brunch. Megan asks me for my full name as to write it down like she’s preparing a list.

During the rehearsal dinner Jeff made a list of interpretive dances for us in the bridal party to do during our introductions. Those who know Jeff from his famous dance offs with Vabilla, know The Typewriter, The Shopping Cart, and Glamour Shots. I choose The Q-Tip (wax one ear, wax the other ear, throw away, throw away). We lined up right outside the reception hall and were ready to be introduced. The order is the shortest to longest My bridesmaid and I were the first to be introduced. ..or so we thought.



The first name introduced was not mine but rather Eric Banta, Dan’s longtime friend from High School. However so as to not confuse anyone else I agree to walk ahead and do my Q-Tip dance and take my place in the confused dance hall (Kevin yelled at the bandleader that she was screwing up the introductions, then went back to checking the Villanova score). After that were two more groomsmen and bridesmaids and then the bandleader was about to introduce Dan and Kristin, not knowing SHE SKIPPED THREE SETS OF NAMES. The music stopped and the bandleader ran back and reportedly threw a shit fit at the wedding planner even though she fucked up the list. To restore order the unannounced groomsmen and bridesmaids just walked into the hall unannounced to applause. Oh my, this band has nowhere to go but up.



While Dan and Kristin had their first dance (to Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours, their song, not mine), the most memorable would be between Jeff (our present danceoff champion) and Kristin’s cousin Jonathan, a trained student of cabaeira (sp?). While Jeff’s interpretive dances were nice and funny. Jonathan trounced him by doing everything including sliding on his head. This wasn’t even close.



You’ve heard enough about food and drink, and of course there was that at the wedding. The band eventually made the people forget how they botched the introductions but let’s just say I would have gladly have taken Booyasteez at half the price. A minor complaint on what was a lovely and fun night.

We headed back to the Bridal Suite for the afterparty, and yet more food and drink. I broke out the straw hat again, as it might have been the last time I get to wear it for a while. During the afterparty we remembered there is still one loose end to tie…the Beach Race Challenge.

Jeff stripped down to a tank top and biker shorts. Scott kept his pants on. Both men were ready, both men set, and we’re off! However as Jeff gets a lead step, Scott puts much too much weight forward and tumbles into the sand of Clearwater Beach. Jeff sprints on to victory as a despondent Scott laid out on the beach recording a DNF in a race where really, there were no winners.



The grand finale of one of the greatest weekends ever was Jeff taking the intercom from the Bridal Suite to sing some of his favorites for 15 minutes, for a segment we called Jeff XM. As you can see I found it hilarious.



It’s appropriate that the man who had more of a part than anyone in introducing to some of the best friends I have now, get the most memorable experience of any wedding I’ve been to yet. Thank you Dan and Kristin Greco, congratulations!