PPCS: Armed Forces Bowl

Bowl: Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Has also been known as: Fort Worth Bowl
Location: Amon G. Carter Stadium, Fort Worth, Texas
Television: ESPN
Time: 8:00pm EST
Would this Bowl survive Pizza Parlor Derek's Bowl Contraction?: What's the point of an "Armed Forces" Bowl without Army, Navy, or Air Force involved? I would have to say this one wouldn't make the cut either.

Utah
Nickname: Utes
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Famous Alumni: The Founders of Marriott, Atari, and Chuck E. Cheese
NFL Alumni: Alex Smith, Steve Smith, Mike Anderson
Record: 7-5
Head Coach: Kyle Whittingham
Fun Fact: Utah became the first school to have athletes drafted #1 overall to the NFL and the NBA in the same year. Alex Smith and Andrew Bogut had dated the same girl at separate times while at UU. No word on how this girls search for her "soulmate" has turned out.


Tulsa
Nickname: Golden Hurricane
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Famous Alumni: Nancy Lopez, Rue McClanahan
NFL Alumni: Bears Coach Lovie Smith
Record: 8-4
Head Coach: Steve Kragthorpe
Fun Fact: Tulsa placed ninth among all colleges for "Happiest Students," according to Princeton Review

Thoughts: Tulsa has lost 3 out of 4 going into this game and Utah is the hotter team and just lost to BYU (which blew out Tulsa). I know that's a dangerous trap but if you look at how Conference USA is projected to do as a conference compared to how the Mountain West should do. There is enough reason to pick Utah here. Especially if Quarterback Brett Ratliff can make some plays against the sixth ranked pass defense in the country. I like Utah CLOSE.

Prediction: Utah 26, Tulsa 23

PPCS: New Mexico Bowl

Bowl: New Mexico Bowl
Has also been known as: A waste of blog space
Location: University Stadium, Albuquerque, Guess Where?
Television: ESPN
Time: 4:30pm EST
Would this Bowl survive Pizza Parlor Derek's Bowl Contraction?: Are you kidding me? You're lucky I'm taking the time to blog it.

San Jose State
Nickname: Spartans
Location: San Jose, California
Famous Alumni: O.J. Lawyer Christopher Darden, Stevie Nicks
NFL Alumni: Jeff Garcia
Record: 8-4
Head Coach: Dick Tomey
Fun Fact: SJSU one of the most ethnically diverse in the nation, with large Asian (mostly southeast Asians including Vietnamese, Filipinos, Thais, and Hmong) and Latino enrollments.

New Mexico
Nickname: Lobos
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico (let's see how they travel)
Famous Alumni: Senator Pete Domenici
NFL Alumni: Brian Urlacher
Record: 6-6
Head Coach: Rocky Long
Fun Fact: Ummm, I just told you their Head Coach's name is Rocky Long

Thoughts: First of all New Mexico shouldn't be bowl eligible, they are 6-6 and lost to Division 1-AA Portland State. The reason there needs to be less bowls is so we aren't wasting time watching (or in my case blogging about) .500 teams in postseason college football. This is indefensable. On top of this, their bowl is a glorified home game. The players can spend their bowl week in their dorms which, while kind of a bummer around this time of year is an advantage against a resurging San Jose State team that came within a field goal of taking Boise State to overtime, however did not beat a bowl eligible team all season. 1,000 yard rusher Rodney Ferguson should lead the Lobos to a win at home in this matchup of two coaches with great porn names.

Prediction: New Mexico 28, San Jose State 14

PPCS: PapaJohns.com Bowl

Bowl: PapaJohns.com Bowl
Has also been known as: This is the Inaugural Game but it was originally named the Birmingham Bowl
Location: Legion Field, Birmingham, Alabama
Television: ESPN2
Time: 1:00pm EST
Would this Bowl Survive Pizza Parlor Derek's Bowl Contraction?: No, Alabama should only host one bowl and as you will find out later the GMAC Bowl is becoming a tradition unlike any other.

East Carolina
Nickname: Pirates
Location: Greenville, North Carolina
Famous Alumni: Sandra Bullock, Vince McMahon
NFL Alumni: David Garrard
Record: 7-5
Head Coach: Skip Holtz
Fun Fact: High School coaches in North Carolina threatened to ban ECU coaches from recruiting on high school property after East Carolina scheduled its final regular season game against Cincinnati on a Friday night.


South Florida
Nickname: Bulls
Location: Tampa, Florida
Famous Alumni: Hulk Hogan (never graduated), Tony LaRussa
NFL Alumni: No notable alumni
Record: 8-4
Head Coach: Jim Leavitt
Fun Fact: Last year, USF played NC State in the Meineke Car Care Bowl. The game was the 100th in the history of the program. No university has reached a bowl after having playing so few games.

Thoughts: Expect a lot of commercials for Papa John's new online pizza ordering system, which is useless to me since there is none within a half hour of either my folks house or my apartment. USF relies heavily on freshman Quarterback Matt Grothe who has impressed throwing for approximately 2,500 yards and 14 touchdowns and played impressively in wins against Pittsburgh, Syracuse, and West Virginia. ECU is enjoying a return to prominence as Skip Holtz is the first coach since Steve Logan to take the Pirates to a bowl. I feel comfortable taking the Bulls here.

Prediction: South Florida 28, East Carolina 21

Davis vs. Schefter

While gossip fiends are fascinated with the Donald Trump/Rosie O'Donnell feud. Football geeks have their own media feud thanks to Al Davis' annual act of senility.

Former Denver Post columnist Adam Schefter reported that a "high-ranking official" told him the Raiders will fire Head Coach Art Shell at the end of the regular season. After hearing his report on NFL Network, the Raiders released their own statement in response.

"Adam Schefter is a false rumor mongerer with respect to the Raiders and anti-Raider based upon his relationship with Denver and with (coach) Mike Shanahan. No decisions have been made relative to the 2007 Oakland Raiders nor will they be made for some time, Adam Schefter could not have gotten his information from a 'reliable source' because there's only one reliable source and he doesn't trust Adam."

While Schefter's relationship with the Broncos is undeniable. He covered the Broncos for the Denver Post and has written for books by Mike Shanahan, Terrell Davis, and Bill Romanowski, Davis' reaction and the fact that there is a well known snitch in the Raider organization, Personnel Director Mike Lombardi, gives teeth to this story.

Davis has gone off the deep end before, suing the Carolina Panthers and Tampa Bay Buccaneers because their logos and color schemes were too much like Oaklands and accusing the Broncos and San Francisco 49ers of Salary Cap Fraud during the late 1990's (he was actually a little right on that one).

PPCS: New Orleans Bowl

Bowl: R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Has also been known as: Always the New Orleans Bowl it started in 2001
Location: Louisiana Superdome, New Orleans
Television: ESPN2
Time: 8:00pm
Would this Bowl pass the Pizza Parlor Derek Bowl Contraction: No, New Orleans already has a bowl, there is no need for one city to have more than one bowl, same goes for the Poinsettia Bowl.

Troy
Nickname: Trojans
Location: Troy, Alabama
Famous Alumni: Author James Byron Huggins (?)
NFL Alumni: Demarcus Ware
Record: 7-5
Head Coach: Larry Blakeney
Fun Fact: Troy University Television is unique in that it broadcasts two live entirely student produced newscasts at noon and five o'clock daily, one of the few universities to do so.

Rice
Nickname: Owls
Location: Houston, Texas
Famous Alumni: Lance Berkman, Howard Hughes
NFL Alumni: Larry Izzo, N.D. Kalu
Record: 7-5
Head Coach: Todd Graham
No Fun Fact: In a May 2005 Playboy magazine study, it was discovered that Rice students were among the least sexual of mid-to-high tier private universities in the nation.


Thoughts: Some guy named "Troy Rice" is going to really enjoy this one. The rest of us should too as two explosive offensive once again will face off. The player to watch is Rice WR Jarrett Dilliard, he has a touchdown in his last 14 games. No reason to think he won't get one in this game. No reason to think the Sun Belt team should ever win this bowl. The Sun Belt is in Division 1-A so SEC teams can schedule them non-conference to prepare for their conference schedule. I like Rice in a shootout.

Prediction: Rice 42, Troy 28

PPCS: Las Vegas Bowl

Bowl: Pure Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl
Has also been known as: California Bowl played in Fresno before being moved to Las Vegas
Location: Sam Boyd Stadium, Las Vegas
Television: ESPN
Time: 8:00pm
Would this Survive Pizza Parlor Derek's Bowl Contraction?: Yes, any reason for college students and alumni to go to Las Vegas is relevant, if there's a football game too, so be it!

Oregon
Nickname: Ducks
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Famous Alumni: Phil Knight, CEO of Nike
NFL Alumni: Joey Harrington, Samie Parker, Haloti Ngata
Record: 7-5
Head Coach: Mike Bellotti
Fun Fact: "Animal House" was filmed on its campus

BYU
Nickname: Cougars
Location: Provo, Utah
Famous Alumni: Just about anyone famous and Mormon including former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and Jeopardy Champion Ken Jennings
NFL Alumni: As far as current active players only Doug Jolley and Reno Mahe, but coaches Mike Holmgren, Brian Billick, and Andy Reid all attended
Record: 10-2
Head Coach: Bronco Mendenhall
No Fun Fact: The Princeton Review has rated BYU the "#1 Stone Cold Sober School" for several years running

Thoughts: You wouldn't think Mormons and Vegas would mesh but this is BYU's second trip in two years and they accepted this bid fairly early. Oregon has lost three in a row in this game and has made a quarterback change going with Brady Leaf who is the Quarterback equivalent to someone named LaDainian Phillips. John Beck continues BYU's tradition of great quarterbacks throwing for over 3500 yards, 30 TDs against only 6 INT's this season. Oregon runs RB's Jeremiah Johnson and Jonathan Stewart who might be the funniest Jon Stewart in the country. I don't really know. As you can imagine the Over is a safe bet here. Expect a lot of offense and a BYU team that has played a tough non-conference schedule and looks to impress here, to prevail.

Prediction: BYU 45, Oregon 31

Who is Angry Reader?

Recently an anonymous comment poster has vented their frustration with the direction of The Pizza Parlor, enough for me to try to find out just who this person may be. Some patterns in the posts he comments on may lend some clues.

This suspect introduced many of us to blogging some years ago...

"Angry Reader" apparently has high standards for blogging...

This suspect has supposedly "gone dark" as he claims to be working long hours preparing for the launch of his company's new website...

"Angry Reader" is terrorizing The Pizza Parlor from a dark place, no doubt...

This suspect is not a big fan of Mexicans, at least of those in this country by illegal means...

"Angry Reader" seems annoyed by Derek's fascination with Mexican food, Chipotle Burritos and Spinach Con Queso, perhaps concerned both were introduced to Derek illegally...

Is "Angry Reader" BRIAN BEERS?

Another Recipe for the Holidays!

Derek Lynch's Spinach con Queso!

2 Loaves of Monterey Jack (as soft as possible), Pepper Jack (as soft as possible), or Velveeta Mexican Cheese

1 10oz. Box of Frozen Chopped Spinach, thawed and drained thoroughly (take out of box and put on a strainer for a good 12 hours)

½ White Onion

1 Tomato

Pinch of Diced Pimentos (found in international foods section of your grocery store)

1 Cup of Milk

1) Cut cheese into one inch cubes

2) Melt cheese on a 4-inch double broiler (be patient this will take some time)

3) Dice Tomatoes, Onions, and Pimentos

4) Once cheese is melted, add Tomatoes, Onions, Pimentos, and Spinach let simmer for 15 minutes.

5) Add Milk and mix THOROUGLY

PPCS: Poinsettia Bowl

Bowl: San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Has also been known as: Just the Poinsettia Bowl, it started in 2005
Location: Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego
Television: ESPN2
Time: 8:00pm

TCU
Nickname: Horned Frogs
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Famous Alumni: Rod Roddy, R.I.P.
NFL Alumni: LaDainian Tomlinson
Record: 10-2


Northern Illinois
Nickname: Huskies
Location: DeKalb, Illinois
Famous Alumni: Dennis Hastert, Maria from WWE, Not Cindy Crawford (she grew up in DeKalb but went to Northwestern)
NFL Alumni: Michael Turner, Justin McCareins
Record: 7-5


Thoughts: The bowl season starts tonight with the Poinsettia Bowl in San Diego featuring two preseason favorites to win their conferences who have disappointed. The two alma-maters of the Chargers' Running Backs (LT and Michael "the Burner" Turner) are playing in this game. Ironically, it will be the running games that will be featured prominently in this game. Northern Illinois has the nation's leading rusher in Garrett Wolfe, TCU has the nation's 4th best rush defense. As the cliche goes, something's gotta give. TCU has a two-pronged attack of Aaron Brown and Lonta Hobbs that could run all over Northern Illinois' undersized front seven. Combine that with Wolfe's tendency to disappear against good run defenses and TCU should roll here.

Prediction: TCU 27, Northern Illinois 10

Let me be the First to Congratulate You!

This weekend, You were named Time Magazine's 2006 Person of the Year. Congratulations! Unless of course I am Time's Person of the Year and the rest of you received my copy of the magazine by mistake. If that's the case than I will say I am a better choice than Hugo Chavez, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Nancy Pelosi but am humbled by those that are truly doing god and liberty's work around the world.

While Paul explains that special issues like this are as much about selling newstand copies than actually crowning the true Person of the Year, and I'm sure some people will be buying the copy to find out what exactly they did to win the award, Time's rationale is this,

The most distinct development in world culture in 2006 was the rise in popularity of websites like Myspace, Youtube, and Wikipedia which are all supported by common users like you and I. Through this "we" are shaping the Information Age more than ever before. Few world leaders did anything in 2006 that they hadn't done in 2005 and while some at CNN or Time would like to think otherwise, simply regaining control of Congress through separate local elections isn't worthy of the honor.

I graciously accept my award and am considering putting the distinction on my resume. Tell me I'm the only one who hasn't thought of THAT.