Extra Cheese Returns Monday February 13!!

U2 upsets Kanye West! Kelly Clarkson wins big! Christina Aguilera comes out from her hole! Sly Stone walks off of his own tribute! Bruce Springsteen spawns a series of suicides! Almost EVERYBODY wins a Lifetime Achievement Award!....

And The Pizza Parlor records it all...

Coming Monday, The Pizza Parlor returns with its FIRST EVER running diary!

The Grammy Blog!

Monday February 13th!

Early Super Bowl Thoughts

I will never bet Super Bowl Prop Bets...ever. I went 2-8. Only getting the Steelers cover and Hines Ward's yards over Tiger Wood's final round strokes. Although Pittsburgh covered and I seriously thought about laying money on them. Doh!

So similar to the Denver-New England game in that the only ones that performed worse than the referees was the team that lost.

D-Jack Pushoff (enough to look like it, unnecessary though)
Holding Call (see D-Jack Pushoff)
Big Ben (not in, or at least didn't deserve six points, although as Wyatt Earp said in Tombstone "Deserve ain't got nothing to do with it" I was more upset with no explanation from the referee who never reverses his calls)

Is there any surprise in Paul wanting all Motown acts for the Super Bowl. Even though the Motown acts they had all sucked. Aretha Franklin and Aaron Neville should be arrested under the Patriot Act for that rendition of the National Anthem. Sing the fucking song the way it was written!

If the NFL is going to do all it can to not have controversial halftime performances fine, at least consider these five:

5. AC/DC
4. Dave Matthews Band (you'd be surprised, I think they'd do it justice, even though you all hate them)
3. Mariah Carey (maybe a bad choice for a WM-free performance, but hey its worth a shot)
2. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band (Jungleland, Glory Days, The Rising would bring the house down)
1. Shakira (she won't show anything I'm not that lucky)

Tom Rouen actually has two Super Bowl rings. More of a goat today than Jerramy Stevens.

Bill Cowher can go screw. Next time, if there's a next time make an attempt to get out of the way of the gatorade, it makes for a better picture.

Loved the SB MVP ceremony too. Reportedly Bradshaw, and Montana wanted money to appear. I think Joe Montana went upstairs to masturbate.

Giving Props Super Bowl Style

Today is Super Bowl Sunday! The biggest sports day of the year! The biggest snack day of the year! The biggest shitting day of the year (with halftime being the biggest shitting 30 minutes of the year)! And of course the biggest gambling day of the year!

There is so much more to bet on than just the outcome of the game (Pittsburgh is favored by 4.5) with the help of sportsbook.com I have found several proposition bets or "prop" bets to bet on anything and everything that happens in the game. The casinos pretty much rake on these bets as they are designed to convince betters to lay down longshot bets or bets about parts of the game they really don't know just to have some other interest in the game. I have found 10 bets to bet on for fun only off sportsbook.com's list. Some of these get a little crazy.

1. Outcome of Game vs. Spread (Steelers -4.5) Pick: Steelers
Everything seems in place for the Steelers to win by 7-10 here. Seattle is the "happy to be here" team from the inferior confidence beating a 5 and a 6 seed to get here. Pittsburgh has the purpose in winning for Jerome Bettis and more weapons than Seattle has. It's perhaps one of the more confident Super Bowl bets I've ever had.

2. Over/Under (47.5) Pick: Over
You can use algebra here if 47.5 is the O/U and the Steelers are favored by 4.5. That means Pittsburgh will outscore Seattle by 4.5 and both teams will combine for 47.5 points meaning the score will be Pittsburgh 26, Seattle 21.5 which is as likely to happen as any of the squares I drew in my office pool. I expect a much higher scoring game than this, whoever set this line still thinks Pittsburgh is a running offense.

3. Team to Score First (Seahawks +110, Steelers -140) Pick: Steelers
I don't know money lines at all, but I'm guessing Pittsburgh is the favorite to score first and they should be, they've started out strong in each of their three playoff games. There are no player odds for first score (the most bet on prop bet and a huge winner for the casinos) on sportsbook.com but I'm going with Tight End Heath Miller on play action fake to Bettis.

4. First Turnover in the Game (Fumble +130, Interception -160) Pick: Fumble
At first this sounds like a slap in the face to Seattle QB Matt Hasselbeck but Interceptions are by rule more likely than fumbles. But remember Shaun Alexander is involved and playing in a really big game. I think he's the culprit

5. Team to Win Coin Toss (Even, duh) Pick: Steelers
Obviously a Larry Triplett reference will be made and Bettis will make the right call, starting Pittsburgh's good karma.

6. Will there be a Safety? (Yes +850, No -1350) Pick: Yes
The Steelers have come inches close to Safeties against Indy and Denver. And they love to blitz and have a punter who can pin Seattle close. Plus if it happens you make serious bank!

7. Shaun Alexander Rushing Yards Over/Under (89.5) Pick: Under
I think Sweet Shaun Alexander is going to be the big-game goat that Elway and Thurman Thomas were during their careers. The great player that came up short in his only visit to the game. I don't hate him, just something about him screams Fantasy Superstar-Super Bowl dud.

8. Ben Roethlisberger Passing Yards Over/Under (220.5) Pick: Over
Especially if he throws like he did against Denver. Ladies and Gentlemen your Super Bowl MVP!

9. Hines Ward Receiving Yards vs. Tiger Woods 4th Round Score (Tiger -4.5) Pick: Hines Ward +4.5
These are the most ridiculous and most fun bets. This means your watching sports pretty much all day today. Tiger shot a 66 a couple days ago and I think Ward can catch for more than 61.5 yards so I am going with Hines.

10. Steelers Touchdowns vs. Liverpool + Chelsea Goals (Steelers -1)
I don't know how I'm gonna find out if I win here but Pittsburgh has to be able to score three or four touchdowns in this game, I doubt Liverpool and Chelsea will score two to three goals. Although on a day like today WHO THE HELL COULD WATCH SOCCER?!?!?!