The Pride and The Pageantry...

is now...Mr. Prime Rib of Pageantry

My Women's Bracket: Final Four

UConn over Stanford- I want to see a USC-Florida or USC-Ohio State BCS National Championship. There's something about seeing the two best programs playing each other for a National Championship that you want the opportunity to see. I thought that UConn and Tennessee were the two best programs and the year after they broke their yearly home and home agreement, that we'd see it. Apparently not so.

Tennessee over LSU- If you told me Candace Parker was going to pop her shoulder, I wouldn't have picked Tennessee. I guess there is some luck to this after all. Who am I kidding of course there is.

Tennessee over UConn- I figured this would be the crowning moment to end Parker's career and it still may be. Tuesday night.

My Women's Bracket: Elite Eight

Greensboro Region:

UConn over Rutgers- While Rutgers had beaten UConn earlier in the season, they got trounced by them in the rematch and got upset in the Big East Tournament. Plus they had developed a martyr complex after the Imus controversy and a controversal loss to Tennessee in February. UConn had Maya Moore who went to UConn, apparently after a tour of ESPN studios and they assured her Keith Olbermann was no longer employed there.

New Orleans Region:

LSU over North Carolina- The game was in New Orleans and Pokey Chatman was no longer LSU's coach. I figured that was two plusses. Plus I didn't want to be peppered with "Can UNC win both titles" talk all week long, so I bet with my heart here.

Oklahoma City Region:

Tennessee over Duke- So excited to use this joke again. Is Candace Parker taking the same major as Chris Leak, JamesOn Curry, and Paul Harris (trust me in two years you'll understand that one)? Anyway, I think Tennessee had the easiest road to the Final Four of any of the one seeds and made this pick without blinking. On my trip to Nashville earlier this year, there was a billboard of Pat Summitt for insurance or something. I don't even know who Duke's coach is?



Spokane Region:

Stanford over Maryland- I made this pick after seeing how pissed Stanford was at getting, essentially a 5th No. 1 seed. I knew their coach would be able to rally them around bullshit and they'd roll over Maryland. Plus they showed Maryland's coach at halftime of their championship game win (the one held in Boston) and mentioned she had twins earlier in the year. Had to believe the twins were making her go soft.

My Women's Bracket: Sweet 16

Greensboro Region: (While the Men's Tournament has gone back to committing to putting regional sites in all four regions of the country, Women's basketball is so regionally imbalanced, I imagine they want the flexibility of putting the four top seeds close to home, even if that means leaving out one section the country, hence the funny names like "Spokane Region" which if you live in a suburb of Spokane makes you that much more interested in Maryland-Stanford)

UConn over Old Dominion, Rutgers over Cal- Had to figure Geno vs the "Nappy Headed Hoes" matchup was inevitable. I must confess I watched the selection show and they made such a big deal of the two teams being in the same region and what an injustice it was even though these were the only two elite Northeast programs and I'm always amazed how the committee manages to make sure no more than one team from each conference is in a group of 8 and have the seeds and selections make some kind of sense.



New Orleans Region:

North Carolina over Louisville, LSU over Oklahoma State- Because we still aren't at the point where we care about the Men's and Women's tournament equally (and probably will never get to that point). All kinds of stink was made about UNC's mens team playing in Raleigh and Charlotte while the Men's team (also a #1 seed) had to go to New Orleans to be in the same regional as #2 LSU.

Oklahoma City Region:

Tennessee over Oklahoma, Duke over Syracuse- Another regional placement controversy was avoided with Oklahoma being replaced by Notre Dame here. Notre Dame didn't appear to be as competitive as past Notre Dame teams, so I didn't pick them far. According to my memory Duke has been to the Elite Eight 12 years in a row so I took them that far this time.

Spokane Region:

Maryland over Vanderbilt, Stanford over Baylor- Another stink made was Maryland getting a 1 seed over Stanford but getting sent out West. The committee does this all the time in the Men's tournament when there are five one seeds. Put two of the teams in the same region and give one team the home location advantage and the other the one seed path. Yet Stanford looked pissed when the announcement was made. More on this later.

My Women's Bracket: Second Round

UConn over Texas, North Carolina over Georgia, Tennessee over Purdue, Maryland over Nebraska- Again, I wasn't about to eliminate any of the top seeds before the sweet 16, they had all been there too many times. That's the major difference between men's and women's basketball and why its easier to do well in the Women's bracket with little experience. The top five or six programs have been the top programs for so long, they have all the experience going deep. In men's basketball the top 15 programs are on a four year rotation at the top and you can get married to programs whose teams are either a year past or a year away from really making their move.

Rutgers over Robert Morris, LSU over DePaul, Syracuse over Texas ATM, Stanford over Western Kentucky- This is Quentin Hillsman, Syracuse's Women's Basketball coach.



One Google could've saved me some points in Women's Tournament Challenge.

Cal over George Washington, Ohio State over Oklahoma State, Duke over Arizona State, Baylor over Wyoming- With the significant lesbian population in the Northern California area, I figured Cal women's basketball games were pretty popular and the program had an easy time recruiting. Later found out they had to resort to gimmicks like "donate your armpit hair, get in free" and a halftime cermony where the one Republican on campus was publicly stoned by a couple lucky fans.

Old Dominion over Virginia, Louisville over Kansas State, Oklahoma over Notre Dame, Vanderbilt over New Mexico- Actually watched some of the Odie-UVa game. Didn't know if these teams played in the regular season but would make sense as they're both in Virginia. Anywho Oklahoma's women's team was ALWAYS on FSN here on Saturdays around 1, for some reason. I figured that reason was they were good enough to make the Sweet 16.

My Women's Bracket: First Round

In my first year doing an NCAA Tournament Bracket for WOMEN'S Basketball, I managed to achieve a Top 10 percentile and nail all four final four teams. Well I picked the right ones, I didn't actually "nail" the teams, that would be a much more interesting blog. I feel much like the lucky receptionist in the men's pool as my logic in picking the teams had little to do with any knowledge of current Women's Basketball (Update: Stanford beat UConn tonight when I had the opposite result so my bracket isn't as stellar, but for a rookie, I still did pretty well.)

First Round

UConn over Cornell, North Carolina over Bucknell, Tennessee over Oral Roberts, Maryland over Coppin State- In Women's basketball a 16 (Harvard) has beaten a 1 (Stanford) but I don't know which year and didn't know that when I made these picks. If I had I would've picked Oral just for one last opportunity to use those jokes.

Rutgers over Robert Morris, LSU over Jackson State, Texas ATM over UTSA, Stanford over Cleveland State- Again, all chalk. Pretty easy so far. For the record LSU's opponent was really called Janet... Jackson State if you're nasty!

Cal over San Diego, Oklahoma State over East Tennessee State, Duke over Murray State, Baylor over Fresno State- How seriously can women take their basketball in San Diego? Oklahoma State's team is called the Cowgirls, which will be changed in a few more years of sluts wearing straw hats out in clubs. Fresno State had a hot as hell coach, but fired her. I can't support that decision with an upset pick.



Virginia over UCSB, Louisvlle over Miami (OH), Oklahoma over Illinois State, Vanderbilt over Montana- I'm sure all four of those mid-majors were pretty good but I had seen on ESPN's ticker that the four four seeds went far in conference tournaments because I mistook them for men's tournament scores. If pink is too "50's gender roles" for ESPN to use for these scores, how about orange? wouldn't that work?

Old Dominion over Liberty, Kansas State over Chattanooga, Notre Dame over SMU, New Mexico over West Virginia- I chose New Mexico as my 12-5 upset because Odie is always in the tournament and the Ghost of Jerry Falwell probably didn't give a shit about women's basketball anyway. Plus I enjoy West Virginia's misery because they handle it so well. I figured the New Mexico coach would have 15 death threats on his answering machine when he got home.

George Washington over Auburn, Ohio State over Florida State, Arizona State over Temple, Wyoming over Pittsburgh- Is anybody else watching John Adams on HBO? The guy they cast as George Washington looks EXACTLY like him, or at least every painting of him ever done. I wanted Ohio State to get to the sweet 16 to play LSU in a rematch Columbus would've taken too seriously. I didn't know if these girls played for Arizona State or not.



Georgia Tech over Iowa State, DePaul over Marist, Syracuse over Hartford, Western Kentucky over UTEP- When in doubt I usually take the school with the better football team. DePaul almost beat UConn once, so there ya go. I had one last chance to be an unabashed homer and used it twice. Would've helped to know SU's coach looked just like its incompetent athletic director and was a complete nutjob. Seriously watching him react to calls and non-calls is almost worth the price of admission to these games. Western Kentucky's mens team burned me in "The Jerome" and in the first round of the NCAA tournament. I'm never picking against them before the Second Round of anything ever again.

Texas over Minnesota, Georgia over Iowa, Purdue over Utah, Nebraska over Xavier- When in doubt take the school with the better football team. Besides Texas used to be good in '80s when the girls wore shirt sleeves and not look sexy. As opposed to now when they wear tank tops and not look sexy.