Ambivalence

Of course I have to write an e-mail today but it is difficult, I must say. Last night I witnessed something I wondered would ever happen in my lifetime. So to feel just one way would be naive so today I feel:

Suspicious....that this is even happening right now. An SI cover and a few episodes of PTI will cement this but for now I could as much be dreaming.

Proud...to be a Red Sox fan and a New Englander.

Remembering...of the people before me, specifically my grandparents, who were not able to see this day. A point brought to light by my new favorite Nike commercial, the most emotional part of last night.

Like an asshole...for taking most of my pleasure from reading the New York Post today and seeing Rivera and Sheffield interviewed after the game.

Unlike an asshole...after realizing that for the past 86 years that was the funnest part of being a Yankee fan at my expense.

Nervous...I knew a lot about the Yankees, their strengths, flaws, intangible advantages but those are now put aside as the Red Sox now must face a better team whomever wins tonight.

Unfulfilled...because Houston or St. Louis win the World Series. This feeling is forgotten.