Jack in a Box: Day 5

In the beginning: Jack is working and living under the identity of Frank Flynn when former President Palmer is assasinated and everyone else who knew he was alive (Tony Almeida, Michelle Dessler, Chloe O'Brian) is attacked. Dessler is killed immediately. At the time Jack is dating the wife from Friday Night Lights (both the movie and show) and she has a 15 year old named Derek, whose an insult to Dereks everywhere.

The Threat: Russian Terrorists have acquired several containers of Sentox Nerve Gas for the purpose of setting it off in Russia. The plan is changed when President Charles Logan refuses to give up the Russian President's motorcade after signing an anti-terrorist treaty.

12-Hour Villian: A diminuitive man named Ivan Erwich provides to canisters to Vladimir Bierko. A supposed Chechen rebel hoping to use the canisters against Russia. I remember thinking that these guys couldn't be the real bad guys because Jack could easily kick both their asses.

Real Villian(s): It's revealed the day's events are part of a mass government conspiracy led by President Logan and former CTU agent and Bauer's mentor, Christopher Henderson with Henderson directly responsible for the assasinations of Jack's friends.

Their Reason: The canisters were supposed to go off in Russia, leading to Russia and US invoking the military provisions of the treaty, making Russia an ally in the War on Terror and shoring up oil interests in Central Asia. Palmer knew of this and was going to take action to stop Logan so he was killed under orders of Henderson.

Political Angle: This season had the most politics of any season by far. Logan was pretty much a Richard Nixon clone in look, mannerisms and corruption. Even some political allies like Vice President Garner and Secretary of Defense Heller advise him against what he's doing.

The Mole(s): Logan first of all. Then a Homeland underling named Miles Sapazian corrupts a recording implicating Logan in exchange for a White House job.

Kim Bauer: Comes back as her psychiatrists' mid-life crisis girlfriend in time to witness the nerve gas attack on CTU and Edgar's death. She cuts off Jack because whenever she's around him people die. Effectively writing her off for the most part.

The World is Saved but…: The Chinese recapture Jack and send him off to Shanghai, for about 20 months of torture and solitary confinement, the effects of which we learn when Day 6 begins on Sunday.

Thoughts: While in truth I enjoy every season of 24. There is simply nothing else like it on television. This season killed so many people that no one's (except for Edgar's) had as much of an impact as it should. Tony Almeida is killed by Henderson and its dismissed, and not even brought up again until the season finale, that it seemed like a reedited plot. It may not seem so but Jack's capture by the Chinese was a suprise and well placed and has whet the appetite for a New Day which is just moments away...

Jack in a Box: Day 6 CTU Profiles

Here are the character profiles for the 'good guys' in Season 6.

Apparently, Wayne Palmer was a hell of a baseball player, Curtis Manning managed to graduate from UMass (party school), Peter McNichol's character has more degrees than a thermometer, Chloe's husband never graduated from two colleges.

Also there is a CTU: Boston and everyone except Jack has only a Bachelor's Degree.

I'm getting my resume ready as we speak...

Shut it Hippies!

El Nino, not global warming is causing the unusually high temperatures this winter and it doesn't look like its ending before March.

Bill this is Colie, Ted this is Jen...

Apparently after watching this season of The Real World The Democrats will be holding their '08 Convention in Denver.

Jack in a Box: Day 4

In the beginning: Fired from CTU, Jack is working for the Department of Defense under Secretary James Heller while dating Heller's daughter Audrey Raines.

The Threat: Best part of Season Four is the threat is ever changing. A train is bombed and then the Secretary of Defense is kidnapped and put on trial, then nuclear plants are melted down, then Air Force One is shot out of the sky, then a nuclear warhead is aimed at Los Angeles.

12-Hour Villian: The unforgettable Araz family led by evil Dad Navi Araz.

Real Villian(s): Habib Marwan a genious Arab who is ahead of Jack and CTU at almost every turn. The best villian of the entire show.

Their Reason: Same reason all Arab terrorists bomb the United States.

Political Angle: With then President Keeler shot down in Air Force One, the country lays in the hands of the uneasy Charles Logan under the guidance of former President David Palmer. Their differences on how to handle Jack Bauer's mistake late in the season, provides tension, leading to an exciting conclusion.

The Mole(s): Aisha Tyler plays a mole who gets called in for extra staffing at CTU. Audrey's ex-husband Paul is incorrectly assumed to be working for the company that manufactured the nuclear override.

Kim Bauer: Written off in one line of dialogue. Her and Chase are living peacefully in Valencia taking care of Chase's daughter.

The World is Saved but…: In an attempt to capture a material Chinese witness the Chinese Consul is killed, prompting the Chinese to demand Jack's capture and trial in China. To escape this and orders from Logan to kill Jack to resolve the conflict, Jack must fake his own death and go into seclusion.

Thoughts: This is the fastest paced and best season of the show. This is also the first season to use the format you'll see Sunday and Monday for the first four hours of the season. The evolving threat and Marwan who was a competent villian, unlike some other 24 villians make this season the best in the series.

Sports Talk Pet Peeves

With apologies to George Carlin...

"We won" or "We lost"- Everyone who knows me knows this. You and I have literally zero effect on the game when watching on our television and marginal impact when attending a game live. This is number one because you almost never get an objective opinion about a team from anyone who refers to them as "we".

"Control their own Destiny"- No one controls their own destiny. Otherwise it wouldn't be destiny.

"No Love Lost between These Two"- If no love's been lost, why do they hate each other?

"The Evidence must be Conclusive"- An announcer feels the need to say this during every challenge in every game. I think it is conclusive that everyone knows that for someone to make a conclusion that evidence must be conclusive.

"Eight Men in the Box"- This is the given answer as to how to stop an offense with a great Running Back and mediocre Quarterback. Let's just say I've been hearing this one a lot this week. If this actually was the answer, football practices would be a half hour long. Formations are essential in offensive football and just about negligible in defensive football. Defensive football is about instincts (one can jump a snap or rush the line based on running or passing situations) and assignments (coaches can tell linebackers to cheat to the Tight End side of a formation or follow a pulling guard). Also if the players can't tackle, it doesn't matter how many are in "the box".

Jack in a Box: Day 3

In the beginning: Jack is addicted to heroin, picking up the habit while undercover infiltrating the Salazar drug clan.

The Threat: A weaponized virus is sold to Nina Myers and a group of British terrorists derailing Jack's plan to buy it for the Salazars so they could comandeer it and neutralize the threat.

12-Hour Villian: Ramon and Hector Salazar are drug lords who Jack convinces to take him in, even after sending Ramon to prison. Jack spends half of season 3 convincing them he is no longer working for the US Government so that they will buy the virus with him. They are by far the dumbest villians in 24 or maybe television history.

Real Villian(s): The virus eventually falls in the hands of a British ex-patriot named Stephen Saunders who uses the virus to manipulate CTU and President Palmer.

Their Reason: Saunders was under Bauer's command during "Operation Nightfall" and was believed to be dead by Bauer but from his perspective he was abandoned by Jack and the United States.

Political Angle: Palmer is strongarmed again by a major contributor Alan Milliken over an affair Palmer's brother Wayne had with his wife. Sherry Palmer is sent to appease the situation and ends up indirectly killing Milliken and blackmails Palmer with threats to implicate him in a murder conspiracy.

The Mole(s): Technically, Bauer, Tony Almeida, and a CTU operative named Gael, are working outside of CTU to get Jack undercover again with the Salazars upsetting the chain of command at CTU and President Palmer. Almeida also commits treason by stalling CTU's apprehension efforts of Saunders in exchange for the sparing of his hot wife Michelle Dessler.

Kim Bauer: Hired at CTU to be kept safe under Jack's orders falls for Jack's partner Chase Edmunds. Is briefly kidnapped when sent in the field as a double for Saunders daughter.

The World is Saved but…: Chase ends up losing a hand. Jack is still strung out and breaks down and in later unseen footage is fired from CTU for his heroin addiction.

Thoughts: This is my least favorite season and the last one I'll buy on DVD. The real Mexicans who end up appearing like fake Mexicans and whose characters are written to be dumb Mexicans. The slow pace of that angle. All bugged me. Like Season 5, a lot of major characters are killed. The daughter-bating mano y mano between Jack and Saunders is entertaining and some events in this season lead to MY favorite season of the series which I will detail tomorrow.

A Final Word on Pageantry!

The 2006 College Football Season is Over!

Now I have to find new subjects to write about until August.

The 2006 College Football Season featured a handful of really good teams but no great team with Florida surprising the country beating what everyone thought was far and away the best team in the country.

The season was highlighted by a Saturday of seven matchups of Top 25 teams, An epic rivalry game that now doesn't seem so epic, and a Watershed game that brought the sport an element it had never seen before.

Whether Florida were champions for a whole season. or for one well coached night depends on your view of college football's postseason. Paul and I will argue this to our graves but I simply believe college football's regular season doesn't provide an adequate sample to give us the two best teams in the country to play for an undisputed championship. Especially when the bowl games don't confirm the arbitrary criteria by which they are determined.

And you simply don't see the NFL, NBA, Major League Baseball, or NCAA basketball rushing to emulate College Football's postseason anytime soon.

Paul makes good arguments but they aren't even the ones given by the college presidents, conference commissioners, and bowl organizers themselves. Instead of admitting they are all in bed with each other, they cite "academics" as if the cure for Cancer is held up because USC and Florida are spending an extra week doing Oklahoma Drills.

My problem with college football isn't as much the BCS as the arrogance of the people that run it. They refuse to give credence to the demand for a playoff system and don't even bother to argue the merits of their system, as Paul admittedly does. This year they allowed (while kicking and screaming) for an elite small conference team to play in a BCS bowl if they met a criteria which all but forces them to go undefeated. The result was the most fun game in the history of college football which the country is still talking about even after a champion has been crowned.

Boise State and the Fiesta Bowl is proof that when college football's hierarchy thinks outside of its ignorant box, good things can happen. One Shining Moment can happen.

Boo! Hall of Fame Talk!

Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn were voted into Baseball's Hall of Fame today. That isn't so much news as it is an opportunity for me to avoid sports talk radio on my drive home to avoid one of my least favorite sports fan practices, Hall of Fame talk. This time every year, hundreds of stat geeks whip out their $35 Baseball Encyclopedia, flip two pages, call their local sports talk radio station or write their sports editor and attempt to sound smart. Well worth the money.

This would be a lot more interesting if every player was only eligible to be voted in once. One yes or no vote is all anyone needs. Did someone forget to carry a 1 and give Jim Rice over 500 Home Runs? No. So why would he be any more a Hall of Famer now than five years after he retired.

This year because of Mark McGwire was eligible and not voted in. Hall of Fame Talk was combined with my second least favorite sports subject Steroid Talk.

Mark McGwire did steroids (allegedly). And I'm glad he did, he hit more home runs and made baseball more exciting than it would've been otherwise to the common fan. I'm glad wrestlers do steroids. I'm glad porn stars have fake boobies, most of them look better than their real boobies would look. The consequences they suffer will be suffered by themselves alone, but the short term gain was enjoyed by all of us.

In fact I vote to build a Steroids Hall of Fame, inducting McGwire, Canseco, the Ultimate Warrior and Arnold Schwarzenegger as the first class. Now THAT'S an induction ceremony I would watch!

Jack in a Box: Day 2

In the beginning: Out of CTU, estranged from his daughter, unshaven and depressed over the loss of his wife, Teri, Jack is about to visit Kim at her babysitting job when he gets a call from now President David Palmer.

The Threat: President Palmer has reason to believe that a nuclear bomb has made its way to Southern California and without Jack's help, terrorists could use the bomb on American soil.

12-Hour Villian: Syed Ali, an Islamic terrorist who is recorded to have conversations and the backing of leaders from "three arab countries" but is killed before he can confirm or authenticate any recorded conversations.

Real Villian(s): A group of American and European business man led by a man named Peter Kingsley who forged the recording

Their Reason: To force the U.S. into war with the Middle East to increase the value of their oil in the Caspian Sea.

Political Angle: As Palmer is reluctant to go to war until the recording is authenticated, a group of his cabinet members led by Vice President Jim Prescott and Chief of Staff Mike Novick try to remove Palmer under section 4 of the Twenty-Fifth Amendment, believing his reluctance to be a sign of weakness.

The Mole(s): A fair-haired daughter of privilege, Marie Warner is an Islamic sympathizer. National Security Adviser Roger Stanton is integral in getting the bomb on US soil.

Kim Bauer: Is on the run all day from an abusive employer, police, even cougars in a season in which some fans created websites calling for her death. It was all in the purpose of getting a shot of her changing into a tanktop in which her "erasers" are clearly visible.

The World is Saved but…: President Palmer is almost assasinated by biological means after shaking hands with Mandy, a hot terrorist played by Mia Kirshner. Fans did not learn the fate of President Palmer until the beginning of Season 3.

Thoughts: The lesson of this season was that acts of war should only be considered after exhausting all possibilities before establishing probable cause. Can't imagine what that was in reference to in 2003. While the last 10 hours of this show are an effort to avoid war, which seems contradictory and the whole season ends with Sherry Palmer in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. This season establishes Jack as a "by any means necessary" interrogator and #2 Tony Almeida as more than a desk job whiner.

Gator Bait!

I'm not even waiting until tomorrow to post. If anyone caught the Series Premiere of 'Dirt' on FX, Florida is Stormy Daniels and Ohio State is Rick Fox. I got it wrong and pretty much everyone else got it wrong. With 8 minutes left in the 4th, Florida is dominating Ohio State by the same score that LSU dominated Notre Dame. So was Ohio State overrated or was Florida overlooked? I would have to go with the latter because Ohio State even after a Ted Ginn Kickoff Touchdown Return came out flat and wasn't prepared for Urban Meyer's variable spread offense or Florida's blitz package. Have to give Meyer a HUGE outcoaching victory over Jim Tressel, even making Tressel panic when he went for it on 4th and 1 from his own 29 in the first half. Troy Smith had a horrible day and Ginn after the Touchdown never saw the field again after a bum ankle. Ohio State thought they won the National Championship on November 18. Florida knew better.

PPCS: BCS National Championship

BCS National Championship: The Ohio State 35, Florida 21. I'd love to give you some reason why Florida could win this game. I'd love to. I hate sounding like the homer with this pick I really do. Ohio State just has the better athletes at every position on the field. I guess Urban Meyer with six months to prepare for a team is dangerous and then I remind myself its only been six weeks, not six months. Ohio State was the ONE GREAT team in college football all year and the only one that would stand up to the champions of year's past in what was a down year for many top notch programs including USC who we can now assume would've given Ohio State the best game out of any team in the country. Let me take this opportunity to express my displeasure with the double-hosting model which has made this game seem like an afterthought and an appendix to the bowl season rather than the ultimate in College Football games. Can these two teams even come close to what Boise State and Oklahoma did this time last week? I'd be remissed if I didn't mention that this is also the last game in the 15-year career of Chris Leak at Florida, or so it seems.

Jack in a Box: Day 1

In the beginning: On the eve of the California Presidential Primary, Jack Bauer and his wife Teri are newly reconciled after a brief separation. The effects of the separation have made their daughter Kim rebellious, so much so she escapes the house to go partying with a friend Janet York

The Threat: Jack gets a call from colleague and former tryst Nina Myers saying that CTU has intelligence that Senator David Palmer from Maryland, the leading candidate in the primary is targeted for assasination.

12-Hour Villian: Kim and Teri are kidnapped by a man named Ira Gaines. Gaines vows to kill them unless Jack assasinates Palmer himself.

Real Villian(s): Gaines was working for the Drazens a Slovenian family whose father Victor Drazen committed mass atrocities assumingly for Slobodan Milosevich.

Their Reason: Drazen's wife and daughter were killed in a covert operation called "Operation Nightfall" which was authorized by Palmer and carried out by Bauer, when he was a Navy SEAL.

Political Angle: Palmer is the prohibitive favorite to win the Presidency but must surpress blackmail attempts regarding the killing of his daughter's rapist by his son, from contributors and his own wife.

Mole(s): Several including an impostor Mr. York and a CTU tech named Jamey, but the main mole is revealed to be Myers whose actions perpetuate Jack's entire day.

Kim Bauer: Wears a tight low-cut t-shirt the entire day and provides an adquate "hook" for twenty something and older males across the country.

The World is Saved but…: Myers in her attempt to escape kills Jack's wife Teri, changing Jack Bauer forever.

Thoughts: Even some longtime fans, consider this the best season and it definitely holds up to the most scrutiny. Maybe because it is the only season that deals with day-to-day rituals like eating and the effects of staying up 24 hours. Myers as the mole was a "holy shit" moment partly because there were a few scenes of her alone when she stays in character when she has no reason to.

24

In case you haven't watched any football on Fox for the past two months and don't know, '24' starts its sixth season, Sunday January 14th with two hours on both Sunday the 14th and Monday the 15th.

There are two types of men in this world, Those who love '24' and Those who hate '24'. If you love '24' it is because it is the ultimate "man drama" reminiscent of the "classic" 90's movies (e.g. "Speed", "Die Hard") you grew up renting and loving. Clear good guys and bad guys, unexpected heel turns, tons of gunfire and explosions all to a heart pumping bassy score. If you hate '24' it is because it is implausible as to some specifics (Southern Californians will tell you the miles they travel by car is impossible even without traffic), and can be predictable as to what happens to the bad guys at the 24th hour or what happens to anybody at 5 minutes to the hour. It is especially loathsome by those refuse to suspend disbelief that anyone can sustain Jack Bauer Intensity for 24 straight hours, no matter what the stakes are.

While I am clearly one of the former, I must agree that every season of '24' does follow a specific formula. And that formula is this:

1. The show will start with lead Jack Bauer (played by Kiefer Sutherland) in some unaffected state outside of his duties with Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU).

2. He will be made aware of a threat by a phone call in the first hour of every day.

3. There will be one central villian for the first 12 hours who will be revealed to work for a main villian with some anti-American or anti-Jack cause. The 12 hour villian almost never sees the second 12 hours.

4. There will be a political angle which will seem separate from the terrorist angle until the final episodes of a season.

5. Someone who will seem to be on Jack's side either inside CTU or outside will reveal themselves to be an ex-patriot working for terrorists just when you think the show is getting close to mundane.

6. Jack's daughter Kim (played by Elisa Cuthbert) will be either welcome eye-candy, or an annoying wet blanket with an awful plotline, or both.

7. While the terrorists plan is always thwarted (you never hear about Los Angeles getting attacked in the past five and half years do you?), each season ends on some kind of a downer either with Jack or the country as a whole.

If you have no opinion on '24' because you haven't watched. You might think its too late to start watching. Hopefully with my "Jack in a Box" season recaps you will feel brought up to speed to start watching January 14.

PPCS: My Bad and January 7

Thought the International Bowl was going to be played Saturday night, not thinking the NFL playoff games were 4pm and 8pm starts so I didn't get my International Bowl pick in. I'm sure you were all waiting with baited breath. Anyway moving on.

GMAC Bowl: Southern Mississippi 28, Ohio 20. This bowl takes place in Mobile, Alabama where East Carolina and David Garrard lost to Marshall and Byron Leftwich 64-61 after a second half comeback prophecized by then ECU Head Coach and Pizza Parlor favorite Steve Logan. This is another good coaching matchup between Ohio's Frank Solich and Southern Mississippi's Jeff Bower. Expect Southern Miss behind RB Damion Fletcher to have just a little more offense than the Bobcats.