30 Runs!!!!!!

Tim Kurkjian loves baseball and math. So when a baseball team puts up a high score, you can imagine how he gets a little giddy…but maybe not this giddy

In my research I found no evidence (i.e. wife, kids) to suggest that Tim Kurkjian has EVER kissed a girl.

My Interview with Barry Bonds and other Random ASG Thoughts

After seeing Barry Bonds Interview with Manny Mota (don't write me and tell me that wasn't Manny Mota, I know). I now know how an interview with him would go if I were conducting it:

Pizza Parlor Derek: Barry, what substances are you willing to admit to using that may have helped you to achieve the milestone you are about to achieve?

Barry Bonds: I tell you what, it is a beautiful day for baseball.

PPD: Yes, it is. Would the night you break Hank Aaron's record be diminished if Commissioner Bud Selig wasn't in attendance and do you think he should be?

BB: I'm just blessed to live in America. Such a great country.

PPD: Are you upset that Hank Aaron himself will not be in attendance?

BB: You know who I'm warming upto, this Ron Paul. I listened to him during one of the debates and I think he has some good ideas. I'm curious to see if McCain stays in the race through Iowa though.

PPD: Barry, it's been great chatting with you, good luck in the second half.

BB: Thank you.

(of course I'm omitting the stare on Bonds' face that probably would say "You read about that wrestler and his family? Well it can happen to a baseball player and YOUR family")

Other Random Thoughts

-I was praying A-Rod was running like he was (like a stick was up his ass) because he just pulled his hamstring.

-I inched up in my seat when Chris Young walked Brian Roberts only for the possibility that Derrek Lee was going to whiz a return throw at Young's head after a pickoff attempt.

-Tim McCarver has no idea what Wi-Fi is or who Turtle from Entourage is. Joe Buck misses Troy Aikman and can't wait to hang with him and feel cool.

-I make fun of Tim McCarver a lot, but at least once a game he'll tell you something you wouldn't have figured out for yourself watching the game alone. He is a hundred times better than Joe Morgan and 1/100th as good as Jerry Remy or Ron Darling or Keith Hernandez

-So there's heavy air in San Francisco and thin air in Denver. How heavy is New England air?

-Papelbon's the balls.

-I like when I ask myself things like "When did J.J. Putz become unhittable?" then see him get hit around. Makes me feel smart even though I ignore West Coast baseball.

-Imagine if Joe Buck and anybody else did last year's Fiesta Bowl instead of the clowns who did.

-I really do think Tony LaRussa forgot about Albert Pujols

All-Star Games

I disagree somewhat with Paul on baseball's All-Star Game. Before that let me run down my opinions on each sports All-Star Game.

NFL Pro Bowl- By far the worst, half the named roster players sit out to the point that Trent Green and Steve McNair become "Pro Bowl Quarterbacks", there's no blitzing so the linebackers named to the game don't even get to show why they were named to the game in the first place. This absolutely should be replaced by a televised lavish banquet (like tonight's ESPY's) and the right to wear a gold patch on the shoulder of the best player (in the NFL) at each position.

NHL All-Star Game- So what if Alexander Ocherjlahjhsak from Tampa Bay had a Hat Trick. So did Oleg Jkrjewersac from Anaheim and Bret Hykcwzkcwzkckz from Edmonton. In fact the score was Who's He 12, Huh? 8.

NBA All-Star Game- An overly produced pickup game. Which takes place on what I call "Affirmative Action Day" after the Daytona 500. After Fox tries to find every black guy in Daytona, TNT shows pregame performances by Maroon 5, Foo Fighters, and Sugarland as both sports try to avoid being pigeonholed demographically.

MLB All-Star Game- I can see how Mets fans must hate the "This Time it Counts" clause, but even they have to admit this added to the excitement of last night's Bottom of the Ninth Inning. Of all the All-Star Games I've watched, last night felt the most like a regular season game. All the AL's runs were scored off pitchers on teams in Pennant contention as of the All-Star Break.

I know I'm in the minority in this but I like that every team must be represented in the game for a few reasons.

1) Feel good stories like Dmitri Young get to be told

2) Those that are still loyal Royals fans deserve the possibility of seeing a player on their team play in the All-Star Game even if it is Gil Meche. If a year came where three or four teams didn't have a player on the All-Star Game the game runs the risk of getting 5th place ratings in those markets and Fox would not get their moneys worth.

3) It also prevents a situation where three pitchers on one team need to be used in the game, rendering them useless the first three games of the second half.

I too have no idea why Tony LaRussa didn't pitch hit Albert Pujols for Aaron Rowand with the bases loaded. I think he may have forgotten Pujols was there and on his team that night. This might have been Tony LaRussa's first sign of age.