My Interview with Barry Bonds and other Random ASG Thoughts

After seeing Barry Bonds Interview with Manny Mota (don't write me and tell me that wasn't Manny Mota, I know). I now know how an interview with him would go if I were conducting it:

Pizza Parlor Derek: Barry, what substances are you willing to admit to using that may have helped you to achieve the milestone you are about to achieve?

Barry Bonds: I tell you what, it is a beautiful day for baseball.

PPD: Yes, it is. Would the night you break Hank Aaron's record be diminished if Commissioner Bud Selig wasn't in attendance and do you think he should be?

BB: I'm just blessed to live in America. Such a great country.

PPD: Are you upset that Hank Aaron himself will not be in attendance?

BB: You know who I'm warming upto, this Ron Paul. I listened to him during one of the debates and I think he has some good ideas. I'm curious to see if McCain stays in the race through Iowa though.

PPD: Barry, it's been great chatting with you, good luck in the second half.

BB: Thank you.

(of course I'm omitting the stare on Bonds' face that probably would say "You read about that wrestler and his family? Well it can happen to a baseball player and YOUR family")

Other Random Thoughts

-I was praying A-Rod was running like he was (like a stick was up his ass) because he just pulled his hamstring.

-I inched up in my seat when Chris Young walked Brian Roberts only for the possibility that Derrek Lee was going to whiz a return throw at Young's head after a pickoff attempt.

-Tim McCarver has no idea what Wi-Fi is or who Turtle from Entourage is. Joe Buck misses Troy Aikman and can't wait to hang with him and feel cool.

-I make fun of Tim McCarver a lot, but at least once a game he'll tell you something you wouldn't have figured out for yourself watching the game alone. He is a hundred times better than Joe Morgan and 1/100th as good as Jerry Remy or Ron Darling or Keith Hernandez

-So there's heavy air in San Francisco and thin air in Denver. How heavy is New England air?

-Papelbon's the balls.

-I like when I ask myself things like "When did J.J. Putz become unhittable?" then see him get hit around. Makes me feel smart even though I ignore West Coast baseball.

-Imagine if Joe Buck and anybody else did last year's Fiesta Bowl instead of the clowns who did.

-I really do think Tony LaRussa forgot about Albert Pujols