TV's All-Time "Go Team"

10 tie)Edie Britt and Gabrielle Solis, Desperate Housewives- I barely watched 'Desperate Housewives this past season but the two highlights of the first season were Edie's car wash scene and when it was revealed Mrs. Solis was doing her landscaper.

9)Irina Peltsin, The Sopranos- Tony Sopranos' most famous "goomah" broke up with him for Newark City Assemblyman Ronald Zellman. Let's hope her endless search for her soulmate ends successfully. One thing about "Russian boo-boos, show them some foreplay, they'll detail your car". Not sure what detailing a car means sexually but it must be something kinky.



8)Becky Connor, Roseanne- One of the first teenage characters to ask her mom for birth control. Also one of the first to elope. With a real scumbag too, Mark. I think he actually punched her causing Dan Connor to punch him and get arrested, but I may be wrong in that. Her pioneer status puts her on this list.

7)Mandy Lauderdale, Temptation Island- This firebush set off to Temptation Island in hopes of affirming her love for then boyfriend Billy Cleary. What she ended up doing was making "connections" with half the male "tempters" on the island. Two images from this god-awful show resonate in my memory. Mandy giving body shots to the guys on the island and Billy unable to watch the video when it was shown to him and Mandy's look of sheer delight on being approached by three guys in the hot tub. She is now attempting a singing career. Good luck with that.



6)Audrey Raines, 24- Most known for being Jack Bauer's wet blanket. Ms. Raines started a relationship with Jack before her divorce with husband Paul was finalized. Contemplated reconciling with Paul while Jack was trying to find information about a nuclear attack on Los Angeles. Then with Jack presumed dead, slept with terrorist and Charles Logan patsy, Walt Cummings in a seedy hotel in Maryland. Plus if she slept with Jack Bauer, she must like it rough. I can only imagine how many people she'll sleep with while Jack is trying to escape China.



5)Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls- While we rarely saw (and rarely wanted to see) Blanche in any acts of passion, she talked non-stop about men and getting laid. One of the "jump the shark" episodes of The Golden Girls had Rose having an AIDS scare and thinking if anyone were to get AIDS it would be "someone like Blanche".



4)Tonya Cooley, Real World/Road Rules Challenge- The inspiration behind this list. While she never went out during her Real World Season and claimed she was with the man she was destined to marry. Now she hooks up with every guy on each challenge and pisses off every girl. I couldn't pull a picture of her because they're all on "adult content" sites I can't access at work. God bless you Tonya!

3)Elaine Benes, Seinfeld- Let's see, she dated a different guy every week before settling down with a guy named "Puddy". Went out with Keith Hernandez even though Jerry liked him more. Admitted to faking orgasms and lost a masturbation contest with three guys after seeing JFK Jr. in the gym. Who wouldn't want to be friends with Elaine?

2)Trishelle Canatella, Real World: Las Vegas- Thought the best way to impress her love interest on The Real World, Stephen was to make out with every guy (and some girls) in Las Vegas. Afterwards she went on "The Surreal Life" and auctioned a day with her on eBay. Her daddy was must be so proud.



and the number on slut in television history...

1)Valerie Malone, Beverly Hills 90210- Here's the list: Dylan McKay, Steve Sanders (I think on the same day too), David Silver, Ray Pruitt and others not as noteworthy. When Valerie came to West Beverly from Buffalo, you knew she was going to change things. And she did, for the better. While making enemies of almost all the ladies, she befriended almost all of the guys. If she got her hands on Brandon (and she tried) she would've pulled off the greatest achievement of promiscuity in television history. Congratulations Valerie Malone, captain of TV's all-time "Go Team".