Friday, September 09, 2005

Tony Calzone's Picks of the Week (Week 2)

Tony Calzone’s debut was underwhelming to say the least. 3 and 6 with a push didn’t win any money for himself or any of his paisans. Furthermore

Buffalo (+24) over Syracuse- Tony would give up these 24 points, if he thought SU’s offense was capable of scoring 24 points in less than a month.

The Ohio State (-1) over Texas- Tony Calzone would avoid betting on this game like the plague if he were a real person. Seriously, two teams this highly touted playing this early is a recipe for gambling disaster. Vegas usually makes a top 10 home team at least a 3 point favorite, no matter who they play. I would imagine there is a lot of action on Texas, but an aggressive defense usually contains a scrambling quarterback and this will probably be the Longhorns’ early season stumble. Tony likes, but doesn’t love the BUCKEYES!

Michigan (-7) over Notre Dame- Leave it to the Drinkin’ Irish to baffle Tony last week with their dominance over Pittsburgh. Michigan is in a whole other class that Notre Dame hopes to get to eventually. Plus we’re playing in Ann Arbor. Hail to the Victors Valiant…

Virginia Tech (-20) over Duke- Tony pegs this as the BottomLine “Whoa” of the Week. Duke won’t score until the 4th and he thinks the castrated turkeys can score three touchdowns on the Blue Devils. But if VaTech can beat Duke in basketball, anything is possible.

South Carolina (+18) over Georgia- Did Georgia blow out the entire Boise State team or just Jared Lorenzen. Tony doesn’t remember the last time he saw one guy do more to lose a game for his team. It’s as if some UGA booster had his family tied up in a basement. Tony thinks Spurrier’s Cocks will be a lot more ready to play this time around and should keep this within two touchdowns

Tony hates early season NFL gambling. So little is known about any team. The last four games featured guys who may be waiting tables right now and wide receivers wearing numbers in the 90’s. Normally Mr. Calzone would recommend waiting until Week 4 to bet on the NFL, but since you may be an addict here goes:

Cleveland (+3 ½) over Cincinnati- What have the Bengals done to deserve to be a three plus point favorite on the road?

Baltimore (+3) over Indianapolis- Is any team more set up to disappoint than the Colts? A built-in inferiority complex, an upset RB in a lame duck year. To see them giving 3 points to a Super Bowl contender on the road makes Tony’s mouth water.

Atlanta (+1) over Philadelphia- Ron Mexico’s first Monday Night game, could see him show the world why he was on the cover of every fantasy magazine three years ago. The Eagles are a mess unless this McNabb/T.O. feud is some WWE-like ruse designed to get T.O. single coverage because secondaries believe McNabb doesn’t like him and doesn’t want to throw him the ball.

Miami (+4) over Denver- Tony doesn’t know what he’s getting out of the Broncos this year. He doesn’t expect to know until October 16 when they host the Patriots. A close win against an inferior Dolphins team should keep Tony guessing for some time.

Minnesota (-6) over Tampa Bay- Finally Tony picks a home favorite. Tampa Bay may make friends remember the days of John McKay with their performance this year. The horns should be blowing as Nate Burleson makes his fantasy owners giddy.

Last Week: 3-6-1, Season to Date: 3-6-1

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2 Comments:

At 10:12 PM , Blogger Derek said...

4-6 this week. Hopefully Tony can improve as the season goes on.

 
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