Ask The Pizza Parlor

On Thursday's regularly (I hesitate to say each week, because who knows) I will answer five questions from readers of this blog, all will probably be friends of mine but the questions and the answers hopefully will be a good read. For the first week I will answer questions from....myself.

Do you find it a coincidence that in the days immediately after you signed to live on your own again that 1) Opie and Anthony have returned to terrestrial radio and 2) WWE has plans to bring back ECW as its own "brand" starting this summer? Are you leasing an apartment or taking a time machine to 1998?

I'm waiting to see if Limp Bizkit makes a comeback to answer that question. But there's something about listening to O&A even though I still claim they had their best fastball when there were on WAAF in Boston when their schtick was separated by music and each bit seemed more fresh. They do a lot of parody of themselves and the first two shows have been perfunctory as they "get comfortable" but I have a feeling my radio will be locked on my now much shorter drive to work.

WWE has also signed old ECW guys Sabu, The Sandman, and Francine but how long are they going to go with these guys' nostalgia. How about some new blood (excuse the pun)? Some of those guys were looking worn at last year's ECW pay-per-view. Are you telling me none of those kids that were making backyard wrestling videos in the late 90's are TV-ready at this point?

Scott and Paul are doing running blogs of Mets' Wednesday day games yet you've been mum about your Red Sox? Are you not excited about them this season? What are your opinions so far?

Through Scott I have tickets to any one of the Mets' visits to Fenway this season. Of course I would like to see Pedro's return to Fenway. The fact that I can't count the rotation to that point to see what game Pedro would return (even without factoring rainouts) is a sign that it is still April and while the Red Sox are out to a good start recordwise. The questionmarks that are Josh Beckett and Curt Schilling could crash at any point. Bronson Arroyo going 4-0 and watching Wily Mo Pena in the field hurts but I think Red Sox fans tend to over romanticize his time in Boston. He wasn't going to be any more than a 5th starter in Boston. Injuries are already hurting this team and I'm having a hard time picturing Dustan Mohr and Willie Harris on duck boats with World Series rings. I am taking a wait and see approach until I enter Fenway's gate for Pedro-Clemens in June.

Do you have "McPheever"?

Not really, I had "McGheever" for Melissa McGhee the hazel eyed girl who described herself as "fun-loving" and always sported cleavage. When she got eliminated I took my mom's adopted daughter Kelly Pickler as my candidate. She had a rough up-bringing (mom abandoning her, dad in prison) and had the same exact personality as my sister. There was no way she was going to win, but I thought the red states would carry her to the final 3 I guess when you bomb two weeks in a row you seal your fate. But Melissa McGhee is the only reason I even bothered with this show. I'm tone deaf so I only judge by what I can see. I guess I have McPheever now but I will not be buying her CD when she wins.

So give me a sports equivalent to Tony Snow being appointed White House Press Secretary.

I dunno, maybe Tim McCarver as Media Relations Director for the New York Yankees. The relationship between Bush and the White House Press Corps is hilarity. As you’d imagine would be the case with the most polarizing President in our history, the White House Press Corps hates this administration. They bullied Scott McClelland into resignation (because Bush purposely gives him nothing for them to go on) so Bush replaces him with a journalist from Fox News just to piss them off. Bush is running his second term out of vendettas to piss off his enemies. I would say to expect a Democratic revolution in 2006 and 2008 if I didn’t think the Democrats would end up nominating Janeane Garafalo. Only they could screw up an opponent’s 35% approval rating.


So do you have a format down? I’m still waiting for the first edition of “Extra Anchovies”.

I may have been overly ambitious with the original Pizza Parlor format. Considering it didn’t last a week. If I were a reader I would count on Sopranos and 24 recaps on Monday and Tuesday, hopefully a few other snippets to go along with those. Thursdays is the day for FAQs again, I’m not promising them every week but if I get good questions I will answer them. Fridays I hope to provide a column of significant length, it’s what I do best and differentiates this blog from SCZA Nation and Paul’s Poop which are updated more frequently with better news. I hope you all enjoy tomorrow’s column.

Of course with the apartment I will purchase a laptop and dive into the world of high-speed internet which I can imagine will only help this blog.