THE Ohio State Weekend Blog

Anyone whose read this blog knows how much I love College Football. The enormous crowds, timeless traditions and polarizing rivalries make College Football as compelling as its professional counterpart played on Sundays, to me at least. I would never pass up a chance to be in a stadium, in a college town, among the college fans and the college traditions; the sum of these very American luxuries is what College Football pundits call ‘The Pageantry’.

Of course to fully appreciate this, one must not settle for trips to half-ass college cities like Syracuse, New York or Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts. To experience unrivaled ‘pageantry’ I must take myself to the Best College Football City in the country. One can argue that there are many great College Football towns like South Bend, Indiana or State College, Pennsylvania or Gainesville, Florida. But anyone who has been there will not argue that the best College Football city in America is Columbus, Ohio, home of The Ohio State Buckeyes.

Of course I would never fly to Columbus just for a blog article, or even just to take in a Buckeye Football game. My brother, Daren lives out there and invited me to come out. While never putting on a pair of shoulder pads, Daren’s place in The Ohio State athletic history books is remarkable. My brother was a member of The 2001 NCAA National Championship Ohio State Men’s Gymnastic Team. Individually, he was a National Champion on the Vault, and was a step back on a landing away from winning a third National Championship on the Still Rings, his best event, which he had dominated most of 2001. He is a countless time Academic All-American and Big Ten Champion. He has a Master’s Degree in Physical Therapy from The Ohio State University and is a practicing Physical Therapist at The Ohio State Medical Center in Columbus, Ohio and has a lovely girlfriend Ann Marie Jsnkdsnik.

Before this starts to sound like a Christmas card, I will get into the trip…

My flight to THE Ohio State University is at 6:10am so it is necessary to grab a Large Extra-Extra Coffee at THE Dunkin Donuts at THE Manchester Municipal Airport. Before I beat the THE joke to death, perhaps I should explain it. While some of you only know the term ‘The Ohio State University’ from players' self-introductions on Monday Night Football, the moniker is literal. Most states have a state university system (SUNY Albany, SUNY Buffalo, SUNY etc., UMass Amherst, UMass Boston, UMass Etc.), a dichotomy of state universities (Utah, Utah State, Florida, Florida State) or several universities that receive state funds (Cal-Berkley, Cal-Los Angeles, Fresno State, San Diego State, etc.) The State of Ohio has no such system. In fact, the State of Ohio funds only one university, The Ohio State University. There is an Ohio University (note it is not called the University OF Ohio) but it is private. Any sign, letterhead, t-shirt, etc. that has the words Ohio State and University has the word ‘The’ before it. Parents and/or students must make out their tuition checks to ‘The Ohio State University’ or they are not accepted.

I arrive in Ohio, fully aware that I have no Ohio State paraphernalia in my luggage. In a place like Columbus where the fans literally bleed red (bad example), going to a game in neutral colors is unacceptable. Luckily Columbus has about 60 OSU bookstores and Buckeye shops selling everything from thong underwear to air conditioners decorated with Ohio State colors and logos.

We tour the football building and the impressive array of trophies won by The Ohio State Football program, including 2002’s National Championship. In case you didn’t know there is skepticism around the program recently. Specifically allegations of money, discounts, and gifts given to players during the national championship year and in the years since. And while the allegations have followed coach Jim Tressel from his previous job at Youngstown State to Ohio State and as you will read, Columbus is the kind of place where you would absolutely believe this sort of thing can happen, but when you consider the source -- possible future Toronto Argonaut Maurice Clarett, who spent one year in the program before trying to sue his way out of the Youngstown ghetto and into the NFL -- Ohio State must be considered innocent until proven guilty.

I pick up a gray workout shirt, red sweatshirt and a white Number 47 jersey (Linebacker AJ Hawk, who bears a resemblance to actor Evan Stone, if you don’t know who he is, don’t ask) to be prepared for any weather come Saturday.

The showcase event of the weekend is a noontime kickoff between the Buckeyes and the Michigan State Spartans. To set up the football, Ohio State, as they always do the week before I visit, lost a tough road game the previous week. They were never really in the game after the 2nd quarter against Penn State, all but eliminating them from the National Championship. While a Big Ten Championship and BCS bowl is still well within their grasp, the enthusiasm is somewhat subdued for an Ohio State tailgate, which would be considered riotous compared to most schools.

RVs and party buses are lined up twenty deep near OSU’s baseball and track stadiums. Delicious Pulled Pork and Barbeque Beef is the chosen fare for our tailgate. At almost every tailgate party, people are playing ‘cornhole’. Cornhole is a game, popular in the Midwest, played by tossing bean bags onto wooden planks propped at a 35 degree angle, with a circle cut out (the “cornhole”). You score three points by getting the bean bag in the corn hole, one point by getting it on the plank, and the difference between the two teams scores is added to the higher scoring teams total, first team to 21 wins. I ROCK THE CORNHOLE. I got it in the cornhole so many times. Once I got bag deep in the cornhole I just kept putting it in the cornhole. If you are wondering if I was really this good at the game, or if I just wanted to make some sexual innuendos using the word cornhole, well both are true.

Ohio State fans decorate themselves and their rides in Ohio State Scarlet and Grey. The will spontaneously break out in chants of “O-H” with corresponding arm movements, and without hesitation fans will respond “I-O”. It’s almost like a cult of over 150,000 people (some come without tickets just to tailgate and be amongst it all). There is no end to the lengths these fans will go to support their team, which is why the Ohio State Athletic Department’s NCAA Compliance Department takes two opportunities during a game to remind boosters to “Ask before you Act” over the public address system. As much as all this support stems from love and support for the Buckeyes there is another source…

Hatred for the Michigan Wolverines.

To say Ohio State fans don’t like Michigan is to say Fundamentalist Muslims don’t like George Bush. I am from New England, home of the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry, “Yankees Suck”, “Who's Your Daddy?”, “1918”, “2000” and everything that goes with it. There were times this weekend, where the venom of the Red Sox-Yankee rivalry seemed innocuous in comparison to Ohio State-Michigan. The Red Sox and Yankees will own the AL East like OSU-UM own the Big Ten. Red Sox fans will chant “Yankees Suck” at any game no matter who the opponent. As will Buckeye fans referring to Michigan. But the difference is, institutionally the Red Sox treat the Yankees like any other opponent even though they may call them the “Evil Empire” privately. The Ohio State University, not only accepts, but promotes the hatred of Michigan as part of its identity. Whenever a big play was made and a cartoon showed up on the big screen, the opponent was wearing Maize and Blue. In between television timeouts, players would speak ill of their distain for “that school up north”. It seems as though every other game is part of an undercard to the main event against Michigan, the last weekend in November. On the practice field Woody Hayes would not even pretend to take opponents “one game at a time” reserving the last part of his practices to scrimmage for Michigan. And if the Buckeyes lose to Michigan, they do not take it well. The last time Michigan beat Ohio State in Columbus, riots ensued, and fans dragged the Michigan BUS DRIVER out of his bus and beat him. I’m not saying it’s the ugliest rivalry in sports, I don’t have frontline basis to make that claim, but it’s unlike anything else I’ve ever seen.


As for the game against Michigan STATE, calling it a sloppy affair would be polite. A game between Ohio State’s point-giving turnovers against Michigan States drive-killing penalties had both teams shaking their heads. Ohio State fell behind 10-0 off of two fumbles and there was a sense among the 105,122 people in attendance that the Buckeyes were tanking the rest of their season. Michigan State built up the lead to 17-7 and looked to add to it just before the half until Ashton Youboty returned a blocked field goal attempt 72 yards for a touchdown. I’m sure Saturday night he propositioned coeds by asking them “how would you like to put yo booty on Youboty?”

That turned out to be the turning point as Ohio State went on to win 35-24, not only winning but covering the 6 and a ½ point spread. The victory celebration was capped by Ohio State's “The Best Damn Band in the Land” marching to their famous “Script Ohio” formation and playing the Ohio State fight song, sending everybody home happy.





The afternoon was spent watching two classic football games (USC-Notre Dame, Penn State-Michigan) and watching highlights of other games wondering if I should arrange a field trip to the Louisville-West Virginia Field Hockey game as both schools seem to play classic games in every sport.

We had a spectacular, if not intestine beating dinner at BD's Mongolian Barbeque. A word to the wise, add no more than a 1/4 spoon of Cayenne pepper to any meal even if your concocting it yourself.

At night we hit a bar called GasWorks with games and televisions to watch even more college football. Bacardi was having a promotion meaning girls in tight outfits were giving away useless crap. I enjoyed a discussion with Daren's friend Jamie Natalie (another gymnast from the 2001 team) about Ohio State and Syracuse in the 2008 Final Four and whether or not Thad Matta will recruit any Serbian players to his team. Unfortunately Jagerbombs and straight rum shots made the night more of a blur than anything else.

Come Sunday I was on my way home. More appreciative of the quality time I got to spend with my brother, happy to have such a good time. And pleased to do it in a setting that you all should experience. If you can go to a big time college football game in somewhere like Columbus. I highly recommend it. IF anywhere is like Columbus.