Inside Smarty Jones' Head

I don't know if I could go to a horse racing event because the television coverage cracks me up. They treat these horses like humans. For all we know this was Smarty Jones thought cycle throughout the race:

"Loud noise...
horses running...I'll run too...
whee this is fun...
there aren't any other horses in front of me...
I hope they're okay...
damn I've been running for a while...
why am I running so fast...
hey look at this a friend...
hey how are you, what's your name...
Bridgestone? why do they give us all stupid names...
why is this alcoholic fuck hitting me with a stick...
oww my ass...oww my ass!!!
Bridgestone wait...Bridgestone...okay see you later...
finally we're slowing down...
now give me a whip let me whip you in the ass you little fuck!"

Let's just say I doubt he is aware of his place in history.

I like how they characterized Rock Hard Ten as a "looce cannon" because it took him a while to get in the gate. Apparently Mr. Hard Ten was also arrested for marijuana possession on his arrival to the U.S. and was flown in Saturday after his trial for raping a one year old donkey in Colorado concluded preliminary hearings. Unbelievable.