Monday, January 23, 2006

Jack is Back (Hour 5) Tonight!

'24' Returns tonight with unfortunately only ONE hour of fast-paced counter-terrorist drama. Last week's two hour episodes taught us much and provided some basis for predictions going forward.

What We Know

-Another Black leader has been killed in his hotel room

-Michelle Dessler looks hot with her hair down

-Michelle Dessler looked hot with her hair down

-Chloe's a slut

-For someone with a bounty on his head, Jack didn't venture far from Los Angeles

-Now whenever I meet a '24' fan for the first time they will say "I was expecting someone younger with long hair who blows snot bubbles out his nose"

-Cell Phones can activate bombs

-Rudy is now a power-mongering snot

-The aide (his name is Walt Cummings) who ordered Jack to be killed at the end of last season is working with the terrorists.

-President Logan looks like Nixon and runs the country like James Buchanan

-Martha Logan knows the truth but we didn't have a "crazy lady angle" this year so no one will believe her until the very end.

-"Flank 2" used to mean "deep shit" when Jack was an active CTU agent but now it means "we're cool, go ahead as planned"

What We Don't Know

-Who found out Jack is alive.

-Whether or not the mastermind behind this season cares about anything better than Russian Separatism

-If Tony Almeida will be okay

-What that guy from the Chinese Consulate is doing right now

Predictions for Tonight

-Rudy tries to keep Jack out of the field, on purpose as he is a mole

-Tensions start between Diane (Jack's new love interest), Audrey (Jack's old love interest) and Jack.

-Bahroos Araz comes back to tell Derek to "stop acting like a pussy".


Tariq WHO bitch!

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